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twobitnot
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Name: rachael
Location: Petoskey, Michigan, United States
Birthday: 2/26/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: in being who i am. living within a moment.
Expertise: making people nervous
Occupation: Unemployed/Between Jobs
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/7/2004
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| i have few brilliant ideas.
spending tonight alone is not one of them.
i'm done with xanga.
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| nothing is going on really. i want the days to go by as fast as
possible. i do not wish to live here anymore. why is my
work my life now? the only people i really see now, i work
with...and what do we talk about most of the time? fuck work.
fuck it.
all you don't work anymore but i have to keep on going. day after
day with no money in savings and nothing to show for it but a bunch of
monotonous high experiences that could have been cool if i remembered
them once in a while.
i might be getting a car. i'm hoping by the end of january. after that, who knows where i'll be.
probably not here. in the lair of uncomfortability.
above all else i feel that everything seems so trivial lately.
christmas. life decisions. what does it matter what i'm
doing next week because it's going to be the same fucking thing as
every week.
the spaces we place between each other seems to have a smaller and smaller importance.
while all of my reading has come to a screeching halt, i find that all
i want to do is sleep and listen to music. i am the essence of
boring.
if i have to make one more half-caff soy mocha i will scream.
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| essentially, without suffering and conflict, one cannot define themselves or become a fully-realized human being.
if all emotion is relative then all suffering is as well. what
does this mean to the starving child in a third world nation that knows
death to come very soon? if all truth is not really truth and
anything wrong is completely subjective....everything is about personal
moral ethics and with this state of mind, human kind cannot function in
an organized institution such as citizens or members of a particular
religion.
R b chaos
e
e
g
a e
ts
l
i
ty
because nothing and everything is possible at the same time. two
photographs are taken of the same matter in different places at the
same time!!! it's miraculous...
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| Moments are the spaces in time that hold no retribution towards life but inspires the best out of all of us.
i had an hallucination today. there was a three inch in diameter
circle through keith's arm and through the hole i saw clouds and blue
skies.
the days are like dreams now. i wonder when reality will come
back or if i'll be lost in the multi-verse forever. everything is
possible and permissable.
people seem to be fighting themselves. some are
succeeding,
some are giving up. where is the space that i can meet them? i
wanted to ask everyone at Grace Baptist, why they looked to someone to
tell them how to live.
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| one quick post. one quick line and then i can get on...feeling
creative, productive, expressive, genuine, and honest. i'm
dealing with my feelings now. i'm in touch with my inner innards.
not really.
but i am me. and i couldn't ask/beg/manipulate/wish/pray/look for or even begin to hope for this feeling.
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